Well, I am having my revision back surgery in ONE WEEK! OMGosh… I don’t feel like I’m ready. I’m not ready for the pain; for the stay in the hospital I know I will have to do. I’m not ready to say good-bye to at least THREE MONTHS of my life where I won’t be able to drive myself anywhere (due to the constraints of not bending or twisting. That and I’ll most likely still be on pain medications!) I’m not ready for the barrage of x-rays to monitor healing (that I hope I have this time around) and return post-op appointments!
My immediate concern is anesthesia. LAST TIME… when I woke up from the surgery, I was in horrendous amount of pain. My neurosurgeon was so proud of how he corrected the scoliosis cranking my spine back into proper alignment (sadly, it didn’t last.) But because of the “cranking”, I had horrific muscle spasms that the IV medication didn’t help. I remember… waking up to that horrible pain and the nurse giving me fentanyl according to their protocol. My eyes were closed so I couldn’t see. And because of the medication, I couldn’t move. But I could hear the people around me and I could feel. I felt that horrible pain but couldn’t move or ask anyone for help. I clearly remember this happening six times… Six times that it felt like I was dying! Looking back much later, this protocol was done over a dozen times until I was moved to the hospital ward where I would be hooked up to a different pain med pump. I am so afraid of this happening again!
Pre-op nurse called yesterday to go over all the things I need to know before the big day. Basically, making sure I know where to go to check-in! Because this is a revision surgery adding another level that will be fused, I’m being sent to the University Hospital to a neurosurgeon who specializes in revisions. That is another thing I’m worried about… The drive home! It will be an hour and a half drive to get back home… I’m worried about the traffic and feeling every bump on the car ride home!
What I’m NOT worried about… My critters. They will be in good hands with my son taking care of them all. Hubby is staying with me at the hospital so that is good… for me! He is only a text away if my son runs into any problems. But I will definitely miss them; THAT makes me sad.
Today, I don’t feel bad at all. I’m taking medication to help with the pain now which almost makes me feel “normal”. I went out yesterday to do “errands” and it felt so good to get things done. Today, the bills are paid for the month so I won’t have that to come home to have to get done. And I have several “orders” I have done that should arrive about the time I get home from the hospital. This will be a bright spot/activity to look forward to receiving to break up the day where showering and getting dressed will be the major accomplishment for the day.
I still need to “pack”. I will do that later (I’m very good at procrastinating!) Instead, I will spend time creating… I’ve made some changes for 2018 that will lighten my load of obligations I’ve committed to in exchange to doing things I am more interested in doing. Not sure if I will have these images printed or not but they were fun creating. This is what makes me happy!